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          黄昏不断加深

          作者: 雷岛 2019年10月03日00:12 浏览:2 觉得不错,我要 赞赏

          ?点击音频,听今日好诗


          一种气息牵引着我。不知往哪里去
          这是黄昏,我热爱的时刻
          我曾经在这里与你相遇,交谈
          风扯着我们的衣角,没有一个固定的方向

          总是会通向你的。所有的回忆
          都是如此。所有的梦
          都无法摆脱你的影子。而春天
          总是短到来不及从书页里抬起头来

          金子越来越少。俗事越来越多
          春光啊春光,只用来感叹
          我们相遇又错过。一封信
          从时光里出发,终究还要回到时光里去

          黄昏不断加深着自己的颜色
          相爱的人,总是不断加深着各自的顾虑





          最佳点评





          黄昏总是美得让人心碎,就像一段没有结局的爱情故事,就像“相爱的人,总是不断加深着各自的顾虑”。而曾“扯着我们的衣角”的风,此刻孤单地吹着诗人。

          几千年的农耕文明,把日落而息的习性深深地融入我们的血脉与基因。因此,黄昏常与归家联系在一起。“暧暧远人村,依依墟里烟”,“牧人驱犊返,猎马带禽归”,写尽了载欣载奔的温馨。

          但是,对于有故事的人来说,黄昏的凄美与心无所依的矛盾,总会撩拨起有故事的人的回忆。此时黄昏变成了思念的时刻,古有“日暮乡关何处是”,今有此诗中的“一种气息牵引着我。不知往哪里去”,在凄清难以自持之际,人之常情自然地就会“总是会通向你的”。

          黄昏处于王国维所说的“由动之静”过程中,所以黄昏的气息是淡淡的。但这种淡,是那种“不思量,自难忘”的淡。因此这种淡又仿佛不断加深的黄昏,仿佛“才下眉头,又上心头”。似淡实深,似深而又淡,像空气一样无处不在而又看不到抓不住。这种矛盾,让诗歌具有了无限的张力。

          此诗准确抓住了黄昏的特征,以淡淡的文风举重若轻地抒写着一种“浓得化不开”的深情,情景交融,情真意切,像潺潺的流水慢慢地流入读者的心田,并且渐渐洇染开,与心灵融在了一起。

          网友点评:四不像








          经编委会评选,“四不像”(来自微信)的评论被评为最佳,他将获得300元稿费。

          同时感谢以垣城踏雪”(来自微信)、“春亮”(来自网页)为代表的

          读者的热情参与,展出其优秀点评,供大家学习参考!







          优秀点评1  

          黄昏不断加深,顾虑也在加深。在我们的生活中,总会遇到一些人,一些事,但有时我们会无所适从,“风扯着我们的衣角,没有一个固定的方向”。

          年龄和经历产生的彼此的顾虑和无所适从,又会让“我们相遇又错过”,而产生出一种难以摆脱的怀恋。对人、对流逝的时光或对错过的一段感情,都是如此,所以“所有的梦/都无法摆脱你的影子”。在日常生活中,我们用琐事填充自己的生命,而“金子越来越少”,春光逝去,徒留感叹。黄昏不断加深着自己的颜色,相爱的人,由于顾虑的加深也将背向而行,悲情的色彩也在加深。全诗语气平淡像是娓娓道来,但诗意像气息一样弥漫开来,朱光潜先生说过:“情绪的性质一部分由人的素质决定,另一部分由产生这种情绪的环境决定。”不断加深颜色的黄昏的意象,加深了诗所表达的怅惘情绪。

          网友点评:垣城踏雪






          优秀点评2  

          《黄昏不断加深》写出了诗人对曾经相遇的恋人的眷恋和内心的忧思,情感之深,思念之切,让诗人对往事无法忘怀,以致于“所有的回忆/所有的梦/都无法摆脱你的影子”。诗人被思念的“气息牵引着”,不由自主地来到当初与恋人相遇的地方,那令人难忘的黄昏时刻,让诗人忧伤的心生出无限的惋惜和感慨,“风扯着我们的衣角,虽没有一个固定的方向,总是会通向你的”。也让我们看到了诗人对爱的深切,寓景于情,诗人将情感表露无遗。然而随着日久分离,忙于俗事越来越多,也让情感日渐冲淡,诗人不由得感叹春光的流逝,相遇又错过,人终究还要回到现实中来。尾句“黄昏不断加深着自己的颜色”,直接点出主题,诗人以黄昏加深作铺垫和渲染,感叹“相爱的人,总是不断加深着各自的顾虑”,也使全诗读起来更增添了忧伤感。

          网友点评:春亮







          “每日好诗”点评网友名录

          诗者絮语韩东林凤鸣宫山wxh2016只蝶痴梦李龙芦苇*印迹、老磨香油、斯文白·雷、珍河、诗语温暖周塬孟未了冷麾蟋蟀皖西周、沉香行*朝闻道、紫梦微醺、燕诗雨荣光启、吴根友、易寒水九月漫安峰高杉王卫国于贵锋王徽公社河空里的醒荷戟寻仇忧子王怀文渭石夜来间杨小滨diasporapaulo、草树、了清西部管俊文weijianshu黄辛力一粒沙桃花岛岛主龚锦明天天独侠、张玉慧、王兴中snowmoon、vilemon、苏贺朝淇°yan张玉慧晏阳王智勇杨动力付邦、红木、徐功利、路垚、更杳、半面旗、给我时间、张维仲细阳瘦马诺言飞、芦冰、寒意、古道、张益军、Bai Bright、董运生、悠悠我心蘭貭冰心大畜铁寒宿凡星珍西、非月、老先生、晓楠、冰冰冰雪广东冷梅、向飞、海之远、勿罔昕蔚、宵风、黎昕、L.N.J、沧海一粟、白露未晞、豫小夏、王立世、何人斯、半城山水半城诗、猫叔、纳兰、童超然、周起马太角萧灵均、刘林123、枕上轻寒窗外雨、红叶寄情、幸子小姐、古书旧刊(淮上风)、申文军群言堂笔、长歌当哭、CM_NGAI、胡坪、石沉大海、拨云见日、水冰月、陈觉民、静铃音、王智勇、齐凤艳、王干、忧子、柯霖、赵运祥、春末、莫名、竹石、上善、三姑娘、梁战龙、一程安宁、谢腾飞、安江松篱、爱打盹的鱼、约翰内斯、夷则士、零下℃、眺望、夜里等下书琴、希山、娃、晴云朵朵、四不像、垣城踏雪、春亮等。

          (以点评时间为序,排名不分先后)

          ?“每日好诗”栏目主持:王夫刚
          网友点评整理:金石开 




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